Minkland (Part 2)

The girl followed closely behind the squirrel-man.  With his advanced age, reliance upon a cane and tiny little legs, she had to be careful not to walk right over top him.  They walked in silence for a good while, which was fine with her as it gave her  time to gather her thoughts, and take her new surroundings.  The forest seemed familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time.  The trees were the largest things she had ever seen, with bark big enough to sleep in.  It seemed to her that whole neighborhoods would fit nicely into one trunk.  The leaves were also a marvel.  It was as though they had been hand dipped in mercury and each sparkled like mirrors in the sun.  What struck her the very most, however, was the comforting quiet.  There was no sound at all but their footfalls through the bracken.  Even the bird-cat had stopped its incessant call to come and silently flew overhead.  She felt herself settle into the peace of this land, and her soul sighed with pleasure.

Finally, she felt ready to speak.  She looked down at her new companion and asked, "What is your name?".  Without braking stride, he replied "They call me Garumph."  "Garumph?", she repeated.  "No, dear, roll the R.  Godddd-RUMF!"  She laughed, and tried again. "GODDDD-RUMF!"  "Brilliant!", he shouted.

They hadn't gotten very far, but Garumph indicated that he needed to rest.  They sat at the base of one of the giant trees, and he took out a tiny silver flask.  He gave her a sheepish grin, drank, and said "Goodly Paxroot, this is.  Keeps the auld bones greased, and the joints a'flexin."  She held out her hand, suddenly overcome with thirst, and he passed it over.  Once she figured out how to navigate the minute opening,  she took one long pull of the sweet elixir.  She felt  the warm wetness travel down her throat, burning through her torso like fire.  Garumph took this opportunity to return her question to her.  "Do you remember what you are called?", he asked.  "No."  She answered.  "I had been trying to think of it since I asked you your name, but nothing comes to me."  He thought on this for a moment, and it made him sad.  He couldn't contemplate not knowing his own denomination.

"Well, I have an idea, if I may.",  he said.  "Might you allow me the privilege and honor of bestowing upon you a new designation?  Just until you remember your given name, of course."  Excited by the idea, she agreed to it immediately.  He sat pondering for a long while, while rocking back and forth and forth and back on his seat made of root.  His brow furrowed into little knots, and his tiny eyes were shut tight in concentration. She grew tired with the anticipation, and found herself leaning forward until she slipped off of her own stem and sprawled on the ground in a heap.  Finally, at long last, his eyes sprang open and, with great reverence, he said, "Skyward.  You shall be called Skyward, as you are both a gift from the heavens and as tall as the trees."

She laughed, and looked above her at the trees which seemed to stretch for miles atop their heads.  "Well," she told him.  "I don't know if I'm as tall as all that, but I love it still.  Please do call me Sky for short, as I don't think I'm one for formalities."  "Sky, it is then", he responded, and waived his cane overhead as though to bless her.  Just then, there came a flutter from behind Garumph, and something burrowed through the leaves to his side.  A great, golden beetle poked his head out from beneath the foliage, and reached his tiny arms up to grasp the silver flask.  "Oh, my", said Garumph.  "I am so very happy you are here, Auric.  May it please you to meet my new friend, Sky".  Auric, once having had his fill of Paxroot, turned and gave a grand belch in her direction.  He then bowed with a great flourish, and trilled "Mayyy yoooou liiive to beee longed, longggg to beee liiived, and neveeer forrrget to daaaance attt miiidnight."  With that, he bowed again, and scuttled off to his home beneath the trees.

Garumph stood, shook himself from head to toe, and began walking again on his unseen path.  Sky followed quickly behind.  "How did you come to speak Minkish?", he asked her.  "Minkish?", she responded.  "Minkish", he repeated.  "The language of our land.  I'm curious how it came to be that you speak it.".  "I do not," she protested.  "I speak English."  He chuckled, a sound with which she was growing quite familiar, and said "My dear, you are speaking Minkish to me, as surely as I am six score and eight years old."  She quickly did the math in her head, and stopped dead in her tracks.  "YOU are 128 years old?", she demanded.  He turned to look at her, and smiled at her astonishment.  He leaned heavily upon his cane, and said "Friend Sky, you surely know how to make a fellow feel ancient.  Point of fact, there are ten more in my village who are at least two more score than I."  As if to prove it, he kicked up his heels and continued down the path.

They walked on, again in silence, for a half hour more, when they came to a pair of trees that formed an archway over the path.  A flutter of wings overhead was a reminder that bird-cat had been with them for every step of their journey.  She sailed in great swoops and furls and cried "Home, Home, Home!".  Sky and Garumph stepped out from beyond the forest canopy, and took in the world beyond.  She was overwhelmed by what she saw; hundreds of Garumphs, milling about their day and bustling through their tiny streets.  He, realizing how overwhelming it all was, took her great hand in his little paw, and said "Come, child.  Welcome to my home.  You will be loved here."


(To be con't)

Minkland, part 2

...is a works in progress, to be posted soooooon.  :)

Minkland (Part One)

She awoke to the sound of an incessant bleating in her ears.  She reached for the alarm clock which she somehow knew must be there, but there was none.  Instead of the audible peace she was after, she had grasped a fistful of what felt like enormous leaves.

Her eyes opened slowly  to the brilliance of the sun and, strangely, a canopy of leaves overhead.  She sat up and took a good look around to see what she could see.  "Hello.", said a voice behind her.  She turned with a start, but saw no one except an overly large squirrel peering at her quizzically, standing on the roots of one of the largest trees she had ever witnessed.  "Come, Come, Come", came a call from over her head, clearly the source of the annoyance that had awoken her.  She looked up and saw the oddest sight.  It had the head of a bird, and the beak of a bird, and blue feathers, not unlike a bird.  Yet, it had the body of a small, white, house cat and the beautiful, downy wings of a snowy owl.  The bird-cat had its head cocked, and a gaze that was unblinking on the girl.  "Come, Come, Come", it said again.

She shook her head, looked back up at the bird-cat, then shook her head again for good measure.  No matter, it was still there, staring its empty bird stare.  "Hello?", the voice said again from behind her.  She turned back around to see that the squirrel had crept closer.  But this was no squirrel at all, was it?  He was the smallest man she had ever seen.  Oh, to be sure, he had tiny buck teeth and a layer of short, coarse fur that covered him from his head down to his wee feet.  However, on the top of his fuzzy head he wore a small, very unsquirrel-like, brown fedora, and in his tiny right claw he clutched hard to the cane he leaned upon.  The cane was made of some kind of wood, and was clearly as old as he, but its shine spoke of the great care he took with it.  She goggled at him for the longest of times, mouth open like a trout, then slammed herself hard back against her bed of leaves.

"This is a dream", she declared loudly.  "You, and that bird thing, are not real, so I refuse to speak to you."  With her eyes shut firmly against the sun, she implored sleep to overtake her once more.  She heard the little man chuckle softly from somewhere off to the right. He cleared his throat, as if to collect himself, and said "Well, my dear, I do believe that was you just there, speaking to me."  She pursed her lips, and refused to say another word.

They stayed like this for a very long time, her splayed on the ground with arms folded firmly over her chest, and him patiently leaning on his cane.  They both somehow managed to ignore the bird overhead, who was yet beseeching them to come to some unknown place.  Finally, she opened one eye, saw that he was staring, and simply asked "What?".  "What, what?" he replied.  She sat up with a huff.  "What do you want?" She asked.  "Why are you still here and, worse yet, why are you staring at me?"  This time he laughed with a great rolling chitter that nearly knocked him off of his cane.  Had she not been so annoyed, she may have joined him in his great mirth.  "My sweet girl, I'm quite sure I can't help myself.  I have never, in all of my long days, seen a giant such as yourself.  You are simply a marvel."

She was rendered speechless at the absurdity of this, and put her head in her hands.  "I'm the marvel?" she thought.  "I have a bird-cat in the tree above me, and a squirrel-man talking to me with a jaunty cap on his head, and I am the marvel?"

Seeing her frustration, he sought to calm her with a question.  "Where are you from, dear?"  She gazed into his kind eyes, and with a small, girlish voice, replied "I don't know".  He tried again.  "Where are your people?", he asked.  She shook her head at him with a heavy sigh, and her eyes filled up with tears.  His brow furrowed in confusion, and he made one last attempt.  "Well, how did you get here?", he implored.  She began crying now, long, low, racking sobs that made her shake from head to toe.  "I tell you, I don't know!", she howled.  He hobbled to her side, and rubbed her arm with one elfin paw.  "Shhh, there there, my dear.  It will be just fine.  Hush yourself now."

Finally her tears dried up, and she managed to give him a little smile.  Just then, her stomach made a cry of its own, and loudly announced its desire for food.  He stepped back from her, and clapped his tiny hands with delight.  "I know just the thing!  My dear, you must come with me to my village, and break your fast with us.  My people will love you!".  Having no where else to go, and feeling weak with hunger, she reluctantly agreed.  "After all," she told herself, "what's the worst that could happen in a dream such as this?"

They wandered off together into the brush, with the bird-cat following overhead, calling "Come!  Come!  Come!."


(To be continued...)

Quick update...

...on the working out front.  I am three days in, and every muscle and nerve ending in my body is a a'quiver.  I not only did the treadmill today, but Chris and I played Wii stuff for hours tonight.  My arms feel like they are going to fall off my body and melt into the carpet.  I am hoping this is, in some way, preparing me for the P90X, but I dunno....friends are actually WARNING us about it.  They take one look at our pasty, overweight, 40 year old selves and, with a furrowed brow, say "Yeah, guys, umm.  That workout is pretty intense.  Let me know if you need any help."  I just know they are anticipating having to rush to our apartment and pick us both up off the floor.

I can't WAIT.  :)

Jenn

Coffee is no longer my friend. :/

I have always loved my coffee.  I used to drink pots of the stuff.  I am one of those freaks where 2 shots of espresso in my Starbucks didn't cut it, I needed to pay to add a third.

Well, apparently no longer.  About a year ago I put my coffee maker at home away to try and cut down on my obscene consumption of caffeine.  Since my only other coffee source was at my job, I have had very little of that sweet brown elixir since I was laid off.  Last Friday, I went back to my old job to help out, because the new manager who had been hired to replace me had already been fired.  While there, I had three cups of coffee in 4 hours.  By the time I was heading home I thought I was having a full scale panic attack.  Not heeding that warning, today I went to Starbucks and ordered my usual 3-espresso cafe mocha.  Well, I think I have finally learned my lesson.  There has been a 40 pound weight on my chest since 5 pm this afternoon that refuses to move.  My heart was racing for hours, and I've been having a hard time breathing.  It has been a virtual PARTY.  Looks like it is green tea for me from now on.  :/

In other news, I worked out today, so I did SOMETHING right for my poor little heart.  32 minutes on the treadmill and, as always, I felt great afterwards.  You'd think the endorphin high would draw me back in with regularity, but it is always a fight to stay motivated.  For my birthday, Chris ordered the P90X workout DVD's, and they are due to arrive sometime this week.  According to their advertisements, one should already be in relatively good shape before attempting the P90X.  Therefore, announcements on where to visit me and/or send flowers to the hospital may be forthcoming.  Stay tuned.  ;)

Jenn

Give it to God

I was reading some of Caroline Myss' "Anatomy of the Spirit" the other evening.  Specifically the chapter that talks about the 5th chakra.  Your 5th chakra is located in your throat, and with my thyroid issues I thought I should maybe have a look see what it was all about.  


Mental and Emotional Issues associated with the 5th chakra: Choice and strength of will; personal expression; following one's dream; using personal power to create; addiction; judgment and criticism; faith and knowledge; capacity to make decisions.


Primary Fears Fears related to willpower, including fear of having no power or choice, no authority within oneself, being out of control, and fear of Divine will.


Those 2 categories alone stopped me in my tracks.  It was like reading my own biography.


Myss says that the essence of 5th chakra is faith.  She calls us to surrender personal will to divine will.  This spoke to me in an almost unsettling way.  Give up control?  Me?  Well, how will my life possibly move forward if I don't spend every waking moment worrying about it?  If I don't bite my nails, smoke, grind my teeth and lay awake obsessively chewing over every decision, what horrible fate awaits me?  My entire body is strung taut, every muscle clenched with tension - do my muscles even know how to relax anymore?  On the other hand, the very idea of packaging up all of that stress and handing it over to someone much more capable than I to handle it almost makes me cry with relief.  


I told Chris a few days ago that, when I envision a happy life, it is pretty simple.  I see a quiet life doing yoga, meditating, reading, fellow shipping with friends and animals, creating with my hands, and cooking whole, healthy meals.  I also wouldn't mind giving up any worries about money, though I don't need riches.  I fantasize about that life, yet I do very little to create it.


I wonder, often, why I can't motivate myself to do the things that I know will bring me peace.  Therefore, I also found it interesting that the 5th chakra also demands forgiveness.  Not just of others, but of ourselves.  I have never had issue with forgiving others.  I rarely hold a grudge or even get truly angry with others.  But, for myself, there has been little forgiveness.  I have made a number of decisions that have long picked at my soul and has left an open, seeping wound that I fear may never heal.  I even have a hard time forgiving myself for the small, inconsequential things that most people can shrug off in an instant.  So, it stands to reason that I don't allow myself the things that will bring me peace...as, why offer aid to the enemy?


We had a prayer/meditation yesterday evening for the Gulf.  As I was asking God to please help, with a laundry list of who, what, and how she should do it, I remembered Myss' call to give it to God.  I spent a few moments quieting my soul, and with an attempt at faith, told her that her will be done.


I have hope that I can someday forgive myself, and trust in spirit enough to say with regularity "Thy will be done".  I believe then I might find the peace I am longing for.


Jenn

Not in a good place....

....but working through it.  Usually when you don't see me, it is generally because when I am in a bad place, I shut off much in the way of substantial communication.  Health issues, depression,disappointment in myself, not doing what I know I need to do to be a whole, healthy person all leads to me hiding out.  I guess because I judge myself so harshly that I expect others to do it as well.

So, please bear with me, I am trying to restart the good things and wrangle my self-defeating tendencies back under control.

Jenn