Thursday, April 29, 2010
This Blog Will Continue Its Regularly Scheduled Programming Very Soon...
Its author is currently busy with a hugely life changing event and will fill you all in soon...
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Children of my children's children.
Children
of my children's
children.
Who
have
you become?
Do you have love
and
do you give it?
Have you
learned to
forgive?
Let live?
Children,
my children
May you be blessed
With greater wisdom
than we
who came before.
May your souls
soar,
and your imagination
Sing.
Oh, sweet spirits.
Oh,
sweet dreams
These children's
children's
children are.
of my children's
children.
Who
have
you become?
Do you have love
and
do you give it?
Have you
learned to
forgive?
Let live?
Children,
my children
May you be blessed
With greater wisdom
than we
who came before.
May your souls
soar,
and your imagination
Sing.
Oh, sweet spirits.
Oh,
sweet dreams
These children's
children's
children are.
Monday, April 26, 2010
1 more week...
...and the reboot begins. They say if you don't like how your life is turning out, then change it. I don't like how I feel, I don't like how I look, and I don't like the choices I have made. But, I do love me and I know that I deserve better. So, I'll start with that and see where it takes me.
"Don't ask what the world needs; don't ask what others think you should be doing with your life. Instead, ask yourself what makes you come alive--because, more than anything else, what the world truly needs are men and women who have come alive." - Dr. Wayne Dyer
~Jenn
"Don't ask what the world needs; don't ask what others think you should be doing with your life. Instead, ask yourself what makes you come alive--because, more than anything else, what the world truly needs are men and women who have come alive." - Dr. Wayne Dyer
~Jenn
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Relax. Reeelaaaxxx.
My good friend Judy reminded me that all of my to-do lists and plans mean absolutely nothing if I can't relax and enjoy the ride. That is so true, but occurs to me that I have completely forgotten how. I have had exactly one week of vacation in three years. My whole life has turned into: 1. What do I need to do. 2. What am I not doing. 3. How can I do it better.
Sad. I have completely forgotten how to just be - right here, and right now, in the moment. It has lead to where I am now - tense all of the time, anxious, nervous, never truly happy or satisfied, and every muscle wound as tight as a drum. My shoulders and neck feel like they are ready to snap into pieces. Hell, even the things that are supposed to be relaxing have become a chore. I actually get uptight if I haven't read through Facebook, or posted here on the blog. I promise you I am not a type A personality, so where this is coming from I have no idea. I guess one of my first tasks is to find out and let it all go.
The first order of business is to learn how to breathe again. To learn to just sit and enjoy whatever I am doing, wherever I may find myself. To turn off, shut down and listen to the beautiful silence. To find my soul again.
Thank you, Judy, for the very timely reminder. <3
~Jenn
Sad. I have completely forgotten how to just be - right here, and right now, in the moment. It has lead to where I am now - tense all of the time, anxious, nervous, never truly happy or satisfied, and every muscle wound as tight as a drum. My shoulders and neck feel like they are ready to snap into pieces. Hell, even the things that are supposed to be relaxing have become a chore. I actually get uptight if I haven't read through Facebook, or posted here on the blog. I promise you I am not a type A personality, so where this is coming from I have no idea. I guess one of my first tasks is to find out and let it all go.
The first order of business is to learn how to breathe again. To learn to just sit and enjoy whatever I am doing, wherever I may find myself. To turn off, shut down and listen to the beautiful silence. To find my soul again.
Thank you, Judy, for the very timely reminder. <3
~Jenn
Friday, April 23, 2010
The verge.
I have spent most of today both out of it, and on the verge of tears. I am such a crazy, effed up mixture of relieved and tired, my psyche and body don't know what to do. For so long I feel like I have held myself together with the psychological and physical equivalent of chewed up gum and a toothpick.
I am now on the cusp of getting real, honest-to-god medical help, as well as a little time off affording me some space to get my shite together. I have been so strung out, for so long, that I will have to be very careful not to completely fall apart after next week.
The first orders of business are:
~Jenn
I am now on the cusp of getting real, honest-to-god medical help, as well as a little time off affording me some space to get my shite together. I have been so strung out, for so long, that I will have to be very careful not to completely fall apart after next week.
The first orders of business are:
- Quit smoking. Again. (Yes, again). Like, next weekend.
- Getting my Amour thyroid levels right
- Addressing the adrenal fatigue
- Once 1 - 3 are under way, I should hopefully have enough energy to work out again
- Eating ONLY whole, healthy, organic foods
~Jenn
Dr. Amazing.
That's the name I have given my new doctor. He is a miracle. He listens, pays attention, wants to know how I feel rather than reading charts and graphs, and seems truly invested in helping me. This man actually EMAILS me, back and forth, to talk about solutions and ideas. Such a rare, rare thing.
My free T3 report confirmed what I, and he, already knew - which is that I have a critically low amount of T3 in my body. Tomorrow I will be getting a prescription for Armour thyroid...natural, dessicated thyroid rather than synthetic. I cannot wait, can not WAIT, to see how I'm feeling in a few days, a week, a month. Next stop....adrenal repair!
It is a miracle and a blessing to know that there is finally a light at the end of this long, long tunnel.
~Jenn
My free T3 report confirmed what I, and he, already knew - which is that I have a critically low amount of T3 in my body. Tomorrow I will be getting a prescription for Armour thyroid...natural, dessicated thyroid rather than synthetic. I cannot wait, can not WAIT, to see how I'm feeling in a few days, a week, a month. Next stop....adrenal repair!
It is a miracle and a blessing to know that there is finally a light at the end of this long, long tunnel.
~Jenn
Thursday, April 22, 2010
A quote.
Tired tonight, so I'll simply share:
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: "To balance your life with more lovingness, you need to match your thoughts and behaviors with those of your Source, being love in the way that God is. This means noticing when you're inclined to judge yourself or others as though you or they are unworthy of love. This means suspending your need to be right in favor of ...being kind toward yourself and others, and deliberately extending kindness everywhere. This means giving love to yourself and others rather than demanding love. This means your loving gesture of kindness is heartfelt because you feel love flowing from within--not because you want something in return. A tall order? Not really, unless you believe that it's going to be difficult."
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer: "To balance your life with more lovingness, you need to match your thoughts and behaviors with those of your Source, being love in the way that God is. This means noticing when you're inclined to judge yourself or others as though you or they are unworthy of love. This means suspending your need to be right in favor of ...being kind toward yourself and others, and deliberately extending kindness everywhere. This means giving love to yourself and others rather than demanding love. This means your loving gesture of kindness is heartfelt because you feel love flowing from within--not because you want something in return. A tall order? Not really, unless you believe that it's going to be difficult."
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Oh, beautiful soul.
I see you,
you there,
you, sweet, sweet soul.
Your honesty, whispers
it tells me
of that I did not know.
An energy
is shared, of
hands held and meld.
May you tell
your story,
you teller of tales.
Instruct me,
remind me,
of what and why
and
who
and where, let me in,
let me inhale
let me breathe
and soak you
in.
you there,
you, sweet, sweet soul.
Your honesty, whispers
it tells me
of that I did not know.
An energy
is shared, of
hands held and meld.
May you tell
your story,
you teller of tales.
Instruct me,
remind me,
of what and why
and
who
and where, let me in,
let me inhale
let me breathe
and soak you
in.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Soap.
I forgot to tell ya'll that I took a soap making class on Saturday. I now know how to make organic candles and soap. This stuff is so easy, it is a crime that we pay as much as we do just to be clean and illuminated. I learned how to make rose water, bath salts, exfoliants, soap, herbal soaps and oatmeal soap.
Now I just need a little time off and some wherewithal, and mama's gonna start her own business. Just you wait. :)
~Jenn
Now I just need a little time off and some wherewithal, and mama's gonna start her own business. Just you wait. :)
~Jenn
Monday, April 19, 2010
To know that you're loved and supported...
...is such a powerful thing. We had a party tonight for students, potential students, and former students, etc. So many people were coming up to me begging me not to go, and telling me that the school wouldn't be the same without me. It is so nice to know that you have affected people, changed them and gave them a good, positve experience. It makes all of the hard work, blood, sweat and tears worth every moment. :)
~Jenn
~Jenn
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Words to live by.
This quote:
"No one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world." - Dr. Wayne Dyer
I have someone* in my life who, for weeks, has been using the most extreme forms of guilt manipulation. This person has even used other people who are close to me to try and pressure me to doing his bidding. Today I informed him that I refuse to own his issues. I said "no". I used the power of no to say I am my own person, my opinion counts, my needs are important, my health is vital, and I have the right to say no to anything that may compromise my well being.
Then, magically, the stress that I had been feeling about the situation began to dissipate. I have to remember this, and learn from it. The stress that I was under was 1000% mine, and all because I previously said yes when I meant no.
No, no, no. I'll have to get used to the sound of that.
~Jenn
*Not Chris, if anyone is wondering.
"No one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world." - Dr. Wayne Dyer
I have someone* in my life who, for weeks, has been using the most extreme forms of guilt manipulation. This person has even used other people who are close to me to try and pressure me to doing his bidding. Today I informed him that I refuse to own his issues. I said "no". I used the power of no to say I am my own person, my opinion counts, my needs are important, my health is vital, and I have the right to say no to anything that may compromise my well being.
Then, magically, the stress that I had been feeling about the situation began to dissipate. I have to remember this, and learn from it. The stress that I was under was 1000% mine, and all because I previously said yes when I meant no.
No, no, no. I'll have to get used to the sound of that.
~Jenn
*Not Chris, if anyone is wondering.
Friday, April 16, 2010
The adventure got less adventurous, but just for awhile.
Well, the blog has taken a turn for the last little while. I've been tapped out physically, emotionally and spiritually. My goal is to get the physical part back together, and the emotional and spiritual is due to follow. I do apologize, though, that it has become quite mundane in the meantime. I wish it to be just a short turn in the road before I get back to myself creatively.
In the meantime, this woman inspires me: http://www.aimeemullins.com/about.php . Nothing gets in her way. I want to learn from that example.
~Jenn
In the meantime, this woman inspires me: http://www.aimeemullins.com/about.php . Nothing gets in her way. I want to learn from that example.
~Jenn
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Butt kicking week...
I am tapped out, so I apologise, but I ain't got much tonight.
Here's a great quote:
"You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull"
I don't smile nearly as much as I used to, but I am taking some serious steps to get back the laughter. I hope you all have something to smile about every day. :)
~Jenn
Here's a great quote:
"You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull"
I don't smile nearly as much as I used to, but I am taking some serious steps to get back the laughter. I hope you all have something to smile about every day. :)
~Jenn
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I saw the doc today...
...and, he may just be the man of my dreams.
He is totally on board with using natural thyroid, and he wants to address my adrenal fatigue asap.
I may just be back on track before I know it. I cannot express in words just how excited and relieved (not to mention, thankful) I am to find a doctor that truly wants to be a partner in recovery. :)
~Jenn
He is totally on board with using natural thyroid, and he wants to address my adrenal fatigue asap.
I may just be back on track before I know it. I cannot express in words just how excited and relieved (not to mention, thankful) I am to find a doctor that truly wants to be a partner in recovery. :)
~Jenn
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Ugh. McDonald's.
Puke.
I got off of work almost an hour late (10:30 PM). By that point, Chris didn't want to cook for us, and I'm exhausted, so we did McDonald's.
That crap is just nast. The more I eat good, healthy food, the more nasty fast food gets. I feel greasy, nauseous and I'm pretty sure a spontaneous zit just eruped on my chin.
Even the Diet Coke tasted god awful. I am just a few weeks in to cutting out all soda, and I cannot believe how gross it already tastes. I used to live on Diet Coke!
Next time we feel it neccessary to go through a drive through, I'm making the smart choice and sticking with the salad.
~Jenn
I got off of work almost an hour late (10:30 PM). By that point, Chris didn't want to cook for us, and I'm exhausted, so we did McDonald's.
That crap is just nast. The more I eat good, healthy food, the more nasty fast food gets. I feel greasy, nauseous and I'm pretty sure a spontaneous zit just eruped on my chin.
Even the Diet Coke tasted god awful. I am just a few weeks in to cutting out all soda, and I cannot believe how gross it already tastes. I used to live on Diet Coke!
Next time we feel it neccessary to go through a drive through, I'm making the smart choice and sticking with the salad.
~Jenn
Monday, April 12, 2010
Lawd, give me the strength...
As tiring as last week was, this week may very well kill me. I am going to have to operate at a dead sprint at work all week long. Well, let's be real, that is usually how it is there, but this week is going to be a special kind of crazy: training my replacement, planning a huge party for Sunday with probably over 200 attendees, a number of potential students need I-20's so that they can apply for student visas (not a quick process, by any means), right along with the 100's of other "normal" things that I have to get done in any given week. Next weekend won't be much better, because we have stuff planned every day. ugh. I hope I find a way to survive until I'm laid off, and then I'll just sleep for a week straight.
On the plus side, I have my doc appointment on Tuesday, and I already have all of my paperwork ready to go. Hopefully I have finally found the right doctor that can actually treat the multiple medical issues I have, and maybe then I will actually have energy to tackle all the rest of life's craziness!
~Jenn
On the plus side, I have my doc appointment on Tuesday, and I already have all of my paperwork ready to go. Hopefully I have finally found the right doctor that can actually treat the multiple medical issues I have, and maybe then I will actually have energy to tackle all the rest of life's craziness!
~Jenn
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Recovery weekend.... (lost weekend?)
Sorry for the lack of blog yesterday. You know you're getting old when you're asleep on the couch on a Friday night by 11:30 pm. Especially when that is only two hours after you got off work. :/
So, I slept 13 hours. Yep, that's right, I said thirteen. Hours. Clearly this week kicked my ass, almost to the breaking point. I woke up this morning feeling much like a brand spankin' new person. Thank god for Saturdays.
Spent the rest of the day getting my paperwork ready for the doctor, and cleaning years of mail and other nonsense off of my desk.
Tomorrow: taxes. Sleep, cleaning, taxes and paperwork. If that ain't a sexy weekend, I don't know what is.
~Jenn
So, I slept 13 hours. Yep, that's right, I said thirteen. Hours. Clearly this week kicked my ass, almost to the breaking point. I woke up this morning feeling much like a brand spankin' new person. Thank god for Saturdays.
Spent the rest of the day getting my paperwork ready for the doctor, and cleaning years of mail and other nonsense off of my desk.
Tomorrow: taxes. Sleep, cleaning, taxes and paperwork. If that ain't a sexy weekend, I don't know what is.
~Jenn
Friday, April 9, 2010
Why aren't there 48 hours in a day...
...and why do our bodies require so much damn sleep? Especially my lazy, imperfect body?
I have so much to do. I am being pulled in so many directions right now, I don't know whether I'm coming, going or sleepwalking.
More than once I have fantasized of acquiring a superpower wherein I could lie down for 2-3 hours max, then leap out of bed, refreshed and ready to tackle the day. Oh, the things I would accomplish!
Barring that, may "they" please get this cloning thing truly underway, so that I am afforded the opportunity to bark orders to two or three maxi-me's in order to get it all done with ease?
Don't think it has escaped my notice that I don't even have children. I can't fathom trying to fit them in along with all of the other crap. A little, fluffy meow-child is about all I have the time or energy for.
Well, as Scarlet so aptly noted, tomorrow IS another day.
~Jenn
I have so much to do. I am being pulled in so many directions right now, I don't know whether I'm coming, going or sleepwalking.
More than once I have fantasized of acquiring a superpower wherein I could lie down for 2-3 hours max, then leap out of bed, refreshed and ready to tackle the day. Oh, the things I would accomplish!
Barring that, may "they" please get this cloning thing truly underway, so that I am afforded the opportunity to bark orders to two or three maxi-me's in order to get it all done with ease?
Don't think it has escaped my notice that I don't even have children. I can't fathom trying to fit them in along with all of the other crap. A little, fluffy meow-child is about all I have the time or energy for.
Well, as Scarlet so aptly noted, tomorrow IS another day.
~Jenn
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Love.
When I am this tired, this devoid of energy, the only way I know to refill is to remember all of the love in my life.
The love of my life, Chris.
The love of my furry daughter, Jada.
The love of my family.
The love of my inherited family.
The love of my friends and co-workers.
The love of my on-line family that I have been cultivating for almost 8 years.
The love and passion of my students.
No matter the physical, emotional, and spiritual pain I may be in, I have been blessed in my life to be surrounded by so much love. <3
~Jenn
The love of my life, Chris.
The love of my furry daughter, Jada.
The love of my family.
The love of my inherited family.
The love of my friends and co-workers.
The love of my on-line family that I have been cultivating for almost 8 years.
The love and passion of my students.
No matter the physical, emotional, and spiritual pain I may be in, I have been blessed in my life to be surrounded by so much love. <3
~Jenn
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
An incredibly long, tiring day
I was training people from 10:30 this morning until 9:45 pm tonight. Training people is exhausting. It is such an outpouring of energy and focus to make sure they are with you and getting it. Plus, I was having to talk all day long, so my voice sounds like I swallowed a frog.
One of the people I trained today was my replacement. Man, is it weird to train someone to take my place at a job where, despite its downsides, I have really loved. Weird, weird, weird.
I hope I know what I'm getting into!!!
~Jenn
One of the people I trained today was my replacement. Man, is it weird to train someone to take my place at a job where, despite its downsides, I have really loved. Weird, weird, weird.
I hope I know what I'm getting into!!!
~Jenn
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Oh, happy day...
I don't have a blog tonight, I am only going to share with you the joy of my first step to health freedom. Behold the letter I received today:
"Hi Jennifer,
Thank you for your email. I do have experience with prescribing patients with natural thyroid hormone. I also work with patients that have adrenal issues as well. Since it seems like your issues will be ongoing, follow-up visits would be $75 per visit. I can also provide additional testing that may pinpoint the extent of your adrenal problems. I work with a company that specializes in adrenal issues as well as issues with brain chemistry. I can provide you more information at your initial visit. I can also provide an initial osteopathic structural evaluation which may show certain structural dysfunctions that may be contributing to your problems. I look forward to your visit on the 13th.
Sincerely,
Dr. Lloyd"
My heart is swelling. I can't tell you the joy this letter brought to me. <3
~Jenn
"Hi Jennifer,
Thank you for your email. I do have experience with prescribing patients with natural thyroid hormone. I also work with patients that have adrenal issues as well. Since it seems like your issues will be ongoing, follow-up visits would be $75 per visit. I can also provide additional testing that may pinpoint the extent of your adrenal problems. I work with a company that specializes in adrenal issues as well as issues with brain chemistry. I can provide you more information at your initial visit. I can also provide an initial osteopathic structural evaluation which may show certain structural dysfunctions that may be contributing to your problems. I look forward to your visit on the 13th.
Sincerely,
Dr. Lloyd"
My heart is swelling. I can't tell you the joy this letter brought to me. <3
~Jenn
Monday, April 5, 2010
What do I wanna be when I grow up?
I've spent the last three hours sitting here at the computer surfing around checking out school programs.
Problem is this: I'm going to be 40 years old this year, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I absolutely love the idea of getting a Masters in theater at UCLA. I can't imagine a happier life than immersing myself in the theater again, and maybe someday teaching others. However, I have also been obsessed with health and nutrition for years now due to my own physical challenges, so parlaying that into a Nutritional Counselor Masters almost seems a no-brainer. Yet again, going for something where I could work with animals, or even be an Oceanographer also tickles the fancy.
Since I will be joining the ranks of the unemployed in a few weeks, I want, need, and must use every moment wisely and make strong decisions for my future. This is because, if I am certain of anything, it is that I have not been happy in these office manager/administrative positions that I have held for so long. It is like I have been trying to stuff my soft, round type B personality peg into a sharp, painful type A hole. I am convinced that the inherent stresses in these jobs have contributed greatly to my overall downturn in health.
So, whatever choice I make, may god, goddess, spirit, etc, please guide me on this path and point me the right direction.
~Jenn
Problem is this: I'm going to be 40 years old this year, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I absolutely love the idea of getting a Masters in theater at UCLA. I can't imagine a happier life than immersing myself in the theater again, and maybe someday teaching others. However, I have also been obsessed with health and nutrition for years now due to my own physical challenges, so parlaying that into a Nutritional Counselor Masters almost seems a no-brainer. Yet again, going for something where I could work with animals, or even be an Oceanographer also tickles the fancy.
Since I will be joining the ranks of the unemployed in a few weeks, I want, need, and must use every moment wisely and make strong decisions for my future. This is because, if I am certain of anything, it is that I have not been happy in these office manager/administrative positions that I have held for so long. It is like I have been trying to stuff my soft, round type B personality peg into a sharp, painful type A hole. I am convinced that the inherent stresses in these jobs have contributed greatly to my overall downturn in health.
So, whatever choice I make, may god, goddess, spirit, etc, please guide me on this path and point me the right direction.
~Jenn
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The Power of a Puss
I was sitting here with a hot, freshly made cup of hot chocolate trying to figure out what to write about tonight, when suddenly my eyes fell on Jada, curled up in her bed. I watched her for awhile, her chest softly rising and falling, deep in sleep. A sense of complete and utter peace and happiness floated over me. There is something so lovely, deeply beautiful and innocent about animals that I can't imagine for a minute not having her in my life. Nor can I understand when people tell me that they don't have animals, don't want animals, don't even like animals. It is honest to god as if they are speaking some foreign language to me. More than that, I find myself, deep inside, thinking that they can't possibly be a good person. I make every effort to shed myself of such nasty little judgments.
Personally, if I could and had the financial wherewithal I would have a brood of beauties - nothing would make me happier. Until then, I have a little fluffy girl here that is so breathtakingly lovable that I consider myself lucky, every day, that she wandered into my life.
~Jenn
Personally, if I could and had the financial wherewithal I would have a brood of beauties - nothing would make me happier. Until then, I have a little fluffy girl here that is so breathtakingly lovable that I consider myself lucky, every day, that she wandered into my life.
~Jenn
Saturday, April 3, 2010
You are your own best advocate...
I have been jerked around by doctors for years. I am sick primarily due to listening to doctors and their "best guesses". I am guilty of disregarding my very best instincts. Well, no more. While I am still alive and somewhat functional, I have finally decided that I am the only person in the doctor's office with my very best interests in mind.
To that end, I have done enough research on my illness that I am very nearly an expert in thyroid conditions in my own right. Due to my self-imposed education, I am now telling them what I expect, and how I expect it. If a doctor doesn't want to help me, on my way down the road I go to someone who will.
It is freeing. It is relieving. It is empowering. It is the first time in a very long time that I can see a bright light at the end of a long dark tunnel. I haven't found the right doc yet, nor have I been prescribed the medicine that I know I need (Amour thyroid, a natural thyroid rather than synthetic). But, I am back in the driver's seat, and it feels really damn good.
~Jenn
To that end, I have done enough research on my illness that I am very nearly an expert in thyroid conditions in my own right. Due to my self-imposed education, I am now telling them what I expect, and how I expect it. If a doctor doesn't want to help me, on my way down the road I go to someone who will.
It is freeing. It is relieving. It is empowering. It is the first time in a very long time that I can see a bright light at the end of a long dark tunnel. I haven't found the right doc yet, nor have I been prescribed the medicine that I know I need (Amour thyroid, a natural thyroid rather than synthetic). But, I am back in the driver's seat, and it feels really damn good.
~Jenn
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Oh, American Idol...
So, I wrote a letter to Fox tonight. Kinda bitched them out a little bit. I guess at the end of the day, I can deal with a season of bad singing, because we have certainly had that before, but I refuse to deal with crappy reality show nonsense. Here's the letter:
Hello Fox,
I have been watching American Idol since mid-way through the first season and I have not missed a single show since then. I have voted religiously for great performances. I have attested to all of my anti-Idol, jaded friends that sometimes there really are great reasons to watch this show. Yet, this is the first time I have been inspired to write a letter to you. The only reason I am taking the time to write to you right now is because there are creative decisions which are being made that are ruining my favorite show. I’ll tell you why:
• You need to STEAMLINE the show. It is clear that the show is too long by all of the useless filler that you are trying to lamely stuff in. 1 hour for the singing, and a ½ hour for results. Period. You’ve done it before, you can do it again. Trust me when I say that you have been the #1 rated show because of the SINGING, not this other BS.
• THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A REALITY SHOW. IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A TALENT SHOW. If a reality show could have your ratings, they would have had them – Survivor, Bachelor, etc, would KILL to have your ratings. The reason you have the ratings you do is because so many people, like me, will watch you whereas we refuse to watch reality show dreck . That crap yesterday, with the cameras watching people cry backstage? FAIL. EPIC FAIL.
• As for the reality show nonsense…the judges and Ryan need to CHILL. THE. EFF. OUT. I don’t tune in to watch them bitch slap each other. It is RIDICULOUS. The crap between Ryan and Simon…TIRED. The diddling between Kara and Simon…STUPID. I was HAPPY Paula was leaving because of the idiocy between her and Simon every show, yet Kara stepped right into her place. It is excruciating.
With sub-par singing this season, it is already hard enough to watch this show. You have roughed it out with worse contestants but you have never before made such poor decisions with the structure of the show. With the extra added annoyances, and that is putting it nicely, I will be gone soon, very soon, if ya’ll don’t pull yourselves together.
To sum it up, Idol, you look desperate. And pathetic. Desperately pathetic is NOT pretty, nor entertaining.
Jennifer
Hello Fox,
I have been watching American Idol since mid-way through the first season and I have not missed a single show since then. I have voted religiously for great performances. I have attested to all of my anti-Idol, jaded friends that sometimes there really are great reasons to watch this show. Yet, this is the first time I have been inspired to write a letter to you. The only reason I am taking the time to write to you right now is because there are creative decisions which are being made that are ruining my favorite show. I’ll tell you why:
• You need to STEAMLINE the show. It is clear that the show is too long by all of the useless filler that you are trying to lamely stuff in. 1 hour for the singing, and a ½ hour for results. Period. You’ve done it before, you can do it again. Trust me when I say that you have been the #1 rated show because of the SINGING, not this other BS.
• THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A REALITY SHOW. IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE A TALENT SHOW. If a reality show could have your ratings, they would have had them – Survivor, Bachelor, etc, would KILL to have your ratings. The reason you have the ratings you do is because so many people, like me, will watch you whereas we refuse to watch reality show dreck . That crap yesterday, with the cameras watching people cry backstage? FAIL. EPIC FAIL.
• As for the reality show nonsense…the judges and Ryan need to CHILL. THE. EFF. OUT. I don’t tune in to watch them bitch slap each other. It is RIDICULOUS. The crap between Ryan and Simon…TIRED. The diddling between Kara and Simon…STUPID. I was HAPPY Paula was leaving because of the idiocy between her and Simon every show, yet Kara stepped right into her place. It is excruciating.
With sub-par singing this season, it is already hard enough to watch this show. You have roughed it out with worse contestants but you have never before made such poor decisions with the structure of the show. With the extra added annoyances, and that is putting it nicely, I will be gone soon, very soon, if ya’ll don’t pull yourselves together.
To sum it up, Idol, you look desperate. And pathetic. Desperately pathetic is NOT pretty, nor entertaining.
Jennifer
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