Love thyself...

To quote Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski (hollaaa, South Park), "I learned something today...".  What did I learn, you ask?  I learned that I can love myself enough to stand up and say "Enough is enough".  I learned that my needs do count.  I learned I can tell someone that they have crossed the line without imploding, being rendered mute or fire raining down from the sky.

My entire life has been spent putting others first.  I even formed a number of nifty oral fixations to effectively shut myself up to keep from causing offense.  Bite a nail down to the knuckle?  Check.  Smoke a pack a day, despite some serious health ramifications?  Check.  Chew gum like a fiend?  Check.  Eat too much?  Drink too much?  Check and check.  I learned at an early age that, if you put enough in your mouth, no one can hear you scream.

Don't get me wrong...I am no Mother Theresa.  I don't do these things because I am so wonderful and magnanimous.  I simply, and selfishly, like to be liked.  Or, to go even deeper, I don't like myself nearly enough, so I ask others to make it up to me.

Today, however, I pulled everything out of my mouth but my teeth and said "You must respect me.  I am a good person, I do good things and I deserve respect; even if it means that you won't like me anymore."

I have to tell you, it felt pretty damn good. 

Work out today was short - still winded, but I got 20 minutes in.  More tomorrow.  :)